Repost: A Long Time Ago ... In a Galaxy Far, Far Away

Sorry, I tried to write this at a Pilot truck stop last week and it kept kicking me off the internet. Right now, Jonathan and I are getting our truck fixed in Troy, Illinois. We were driving from Greencastle, PA to St. Louis, Mo for the umpteenth million time when we took a potty break in western Pennsylvania. The truck would not start up and we were blocking a lane at the fuel pump. Finally, a guy came out and bypassed the ignition switch and got it started. Werner said to drive the load to St. Louis and then get it fixed. Unfortunately, we could not turn the engine off for fear it wouldn't restart, so we went 12 hours non-stop (only stop to change drivers without turning the car off). Here is the blog I posted last week with updates at the end.

A lot has happened since my last post. Pam has got her mission call to the California Santa Rosa, Spanish Speaking mission. S. David Brown was born in September. I finally graduated from student driver and am now driving with Jonathan. Currently, we are stuck in East Saint Louis without a load. Let me quickly catch-up on my travels.

The only states of the lower forty-eight in which I have not driven are Idaho (although I rode through it 5 times), Montana, North and South Dakota, Minnesota, Michigan, Delaware, Connecticut, Vermont, New Hampshire, Massachusetts, Rhode Island, and Maine.

My trips since last post include:
Los Angeles to Neenah, Wisconsin; Green Bay,WI to New Century, Kansas; Ottawa Kansas to Portland Oregon to West Valley City, Utah; Salt Lake City to Gap, Pennsylvania (Amish farms and covered bridges) to West Valley City, again. Salt Lake City to Ogden to Cheyenne, WY to Sparks, Nevada to Shasta Lake, California to Lacey, Washington, to Pacific, Washington to Cheyenne to Omaha, Nebraska. Omaha to West Chicago; Des Plaines, IL to Millington, Tennessee. Dyersburg, TN to Eau Claire, Wisconsin to Springfield, IL. Salem, IL to Newark, New Jersey. Pottstown, Pennsylvania to Wayne, PA to Laredo, Texas. Laredo, TX to Montgomery, Alabama to Albany, Georgia to Atlanta, Georgia. Washington, GA to McDonough, GA to Arcadia, Florida. Lakeland, FL to Logan, Utah. Salt Lake City to Henderson, Colorado to Longmont, CO to Alamosa, CO to Santa Fe, New Mexico. Albuquerque, NM to Tracy, California. Modesto, CA to West Valley City, UT and our 4-day break. Salt Lake City to Henderson, CO. Aurora, CO to Omaha, NE to Des Plaines, IL. Romeoville, IL (next to Joliet, IL, honestly) to Janesville, Wisconsin. Elk Grove Village, IL to Findlay, OH. Fremont, Indiana to Sapulpa, Oklahoma to Columbus, Ohio to Indianapolis, IN. Shelbyville, Indiana to East Saint Louis, IL where we are stuck and it is raining. Total Mileage: 30350. Grand Total: 56700 miles.

Last Wednesday night, Jonathan and I were dropping off a load in St. Louis at night. We were to pick up a new load at the same place at 3:30 AM. We decided to stay the night at a small truck stop next door so we could be ready to go early in the morning. The area is kind of a scary one but we figured there would be some security at the truck stop so we parked there. While walking from the truck to the C-store, a car was stolen at the gas pumps right in front of us. First warning signal! We asked the store clerk if they had problems with robberies often. He replied that a couple of truck windows had been smashed last week and that the trucks were robbed but usually there was no problem. Second warning signal! We bought some chili and hot dogs but there was no DDP, not even in the bottles. Third and last warning signal! We left and found a Flying J 11 miles away in Illinois. Moral of the story: Stay away from St. Louis late at night by the Mississippi River.

About a week and a half ago, I got to visit Stephanie, Emmuska, Liberty, and S. David Brown at the Rolla Love Truck Stop. Our little 30-minute visit lasted about an hour. I don't think Liberty knew what to make of Poppa with his scraggy beard. Yes, for the first time in my life, I am trying to grow a beard. It is itchy, scratchy, no fun but Jonathan won't let me back off. Don't worry Pam, it will be gone by your farewell. The visit was great and I hope when we pass through Ellensburg or Missoula or Spokane, we can visit with others. I have other pictures but the server to which I am connected won't let me add them. I will have to publish them later.

As most of you know, I have only had 4 days off since August 15th but I should be home for 6 days between Christmas and New Years. I really look forward to seeing you at Christmas. Stay healthy and happy and sometime this trial will be over.

S. David Brown -- Lawrence Knows (Again)

I am sitting at my favorite truck stop -- Iowa-80 at Walcott, Iowa. It has 2 truck museums, 8 restaurants, a free theater for truckers, dentist, barbershop, etc. and free internet service. The last four days have been quite gruelling.

We are happy to announce that Stephanie finally had her child. Go to her blog "Today We Love" and you can see lots of pictures of S. David Brown. I will post one of them here but if anyone wants to e-mail me pictures of kids, grandkids, etc. I will be happy to post them here.

Okay, I have a new Lawrence Knows. You would think that I am making these up but they are true. Wednesday, we left New Orleans to take a HAZMAT load to Los Angeles. I was driving late at night on I-10 and approached San Antonio. Earlier, Lawrence told me to stay on I-10 the whole way until my time for driving was up and he would take over.

As it turns out, HAZMAT loads are not allowed in San Antonio unless you are delivering there. You have to take I-210, the belt route around San Antonio. I proceded to do so and Lawrence, who was sleeping in the berth behind a zippered curtain wanted to know what I was doing. I told him I was taking I-210 around San Antonio because HAZMAT was not allowed through (Sheesh, he should have known this with his superpowers). As it turns out, I-35 goes from San Antonio to Dallas and piggybacks I-210 for 4 miles. Too late, I saw the exit for I-210 and I was driving on I-35. Immediately from behind the curtain, I hear "That doesn't sound good. Did you miss the exit?" WHAT??? I never left the road -- it sounded exactly the same! I realize that I-210 might sound differently from I-35 (not to we regular mortals) but this meant that Lawrence had to know the difference in sound between the two roads and within a couple of seconds when that change in sound should have occurred.

It's like I am being trained by a super hero.

Lawrence Knows.

This week, I got to see a brown pelican on Lake Pontchartrain, LA and a road runner crossing I-10 in western Arizona. I also got to city the city cemetary in New Orleans. Talk about weird. Because the city is below sea level, nobody is buried underground. Everyone in this cemetary is buried in a crypt. These crypts are all little buildings and this truly looks like a city of the dead. It was quite creepy. Hopefully, when Jonathan and I drive together, I will have a camera and will be able to take a few pictures to post on the blog.

Since my last posting, I have gone from:

Alexandria, LA to New Orleans, LA to Phoenix, AZ to Los Angeles, CA (2125 miles)

Los Angeles, CA to Denver, CO to Walcott, IA (1850 miles )

Total mileage: 26,350 miles.

I can also add California, Colorado, Nevada, and Utah to the states I have driven in. After dropping this load in Neenah, WI, we are supposed to go to Minnesota. We will keep our fingers crossed that this will end sometime. More later, when I get the chance.

Lawrence Knows

On September 18th, I got a new trainer, Lawrence Tardy. Lawrence is a big, black teddy bear that looks a lot like Larry Amiker. He lives in Alexandria, Louisiana. He has a deep, basso voice that I have a hard time hearing when the truck is running. He only listens to light Jazz, college and pro football games, and Headline News. He reads the Bible and loves to quote selected passages to his wife, kids, friends, etc. when talking to them on the telephone.

The difference between James and Lawrence is night and day. Where James knew everything about everything but whose answers did not coincide with the almanac, Encyclopedia Britannica, Guiness Book of World Records, the Kaballah, Robert Ripley, or Nostrodamus, Lawrence knows. Lawrence has been a truck driver for 33 years and in that time has logged over 5 million miles. He knows every turn in every bit of interstate; he knows what is under construction and what isn't.

Some examples:

Driving on a US highway in South Carolina. "You better slow down going around this turn. There is a cop who loves to sit there who gives tickets if you aren't within 2 mph of the speed limit." Sure enough, he was there. "Hmm, he's got himself a new Tahoe, since the last time I saw him. He used to drive an Explorer."

Driving in the 2nd to left lane of a 6-lane highway in Albequerque, NM. "Stay right here. In fact, you'll wish you could be in the left lane but trucks aren't allow for another 1.5 miles." Sure enough, the right 4 lanes disappeared over the next mile and I was in the right-most lane. Then a new left lane was created and my lane disappeared. When Lawrence tells me to be in a particular lane, I don't even question -- he knows.

Driving north of Jackson, MS, I noticed a hissing that started coming from the trailer brake in the cab. I informed Lawrence, who was talking on his cell phone. He hung up and listened. "This isn't good. It sounds like a leak in the left brake chamber." ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Does a hiss in the left brake chamber sound different than the hiss in the right brake chamber? (SSSsss vs. sssSSS?) We pulled off on an exit for him to take a look and you guessed it -- a leak in the left brake chamber. He said there was a place where we could repair it about 13 miles away (remember we are in the middle of nowhere Mississippi). I asked if he knew where every truck stop and truck repair shop was. He replied straight-faced and honestly, "Yes, I do. Occassionally a new one pops up but I usually see them before construction is finished." The problem we had was getting back on the Interstate. The exit wasn't the normal get-off, get-on. We drove for a little bit looking for a place to turn around and then Lawrence spied a narrow alleyway. "This goes around and gets us on the right road to get back on the interstate." I doubted our truck would fit and asked him how he knew about this road. "I had to use it about 18 years ago." Sure enough the road went where he said it would and we got back on the Interstate and got off the exit in 13 miles and fixed the left brake chamber on the trailer.

Lawrence knows.

The total number of states I have driven a big rig in now totals 24. Alabama, Arizona, Arkansas, Georgia, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kentucky, Louisiana, Mississippi, Missouri, Nebraska, New Mexico, New York, North Carolina, Ohio, Oklahoma, Pennsylvani, South Carolina, Tennessee, Texas, Virginia, West Virginia, and Wisconsin. I have also ridden in Kansas and New Jersey but not driven in those 2 states.

Since the last posting I have gone from Atlanta, GA to Indianapolis, IN to Green Bay, WS (925 miles).

Green Bay, WS to Louisville, KY to South Charleston, SC (1125 miles).

South Charleston to Indianapolis to Dallas, TX (1625 miles).

Dallas to Phoenix, AZ (1075 miles).

Phoenix to Ottawa, KN to Kansas City, KN (1200 miles).

Kansas City to Mount Vernon, IL to Memphis, TN to Jackson, MS to Alexandria, LA (1000 miles).

This totals 6950 miles with a grand total of 22375 miles.

That's it for now. Jonathan is on break for his daughter's wedding. He has 260 hours compared to my 140. Hopefully, I will have a good driving week. Thanks for everyone's prayers. I hope to see you some time in the future.







Since my last posting

BJSS, The Finale -- A New Hope?

I am now in Atlanta, waiting for a new trainer. James just dropped me off and was fit to be tied. My SDM was insistent I get off the truck right away because James smoked and I had heart surgery. I tried to get put off the truck in Phoenix or another Western city but here I am in Atlanta. It seems I keep heading more and more east. I sure next time I will be put off at the New Brunswick terminal.

Well, it's time for more factoids that made Robert Ripley roll in his grave and shout "Not!"

Population: "Women outnumber men in the United States 10 to 1." (I guess Brigham Young wasn't such a silly man after all.)

The New Math (1): "My grandmother's grandmother was a full-blooded Cherokee. That makes me one-quarter Cherokee." (This is because one-fourth times one-fourth equals one-fourth.)

Geography: "That driver wants to work for a company in Tucson, Arizona but he unfortunately lives in Southern Arizona." (Too bad, he didn't get a job in Page which is right next to Sierra Vista.)

The New Math (2): "I have been officially observing your driving from one o'clock to four o'clock, that's four hours...No, three hours...No, four hours...Wait...(counting on his fingers) one o'clock to two o'clock is one hour, two to three is two hours, three to four is three hours. It's three hours, just like I said." (No comment)

Government Security: "My fiancee had to get a secret security clearance (she is a CNA in a rest home). All nurses need security clearances since 9-1-1." (This is a must since many of those octogenarian terrorists may, in a fit of Alzheimer's, reveal the hiding place of an al-Kaida cell.)

Pharmaceutical Rope: "Rope is made of hemp which is a type of marijuana plant. But when you smoke rope, it only makes you sick, not high. That is why hemp is known as skunk weed." (Since marijuana and skunk weed are both types of cannabis, I can assume that skunk weed is the black and white striped variety. (In Georgia, it is against the law to smoke hemp rope -- honestly, even though it is a different type of hemp.)

The New Math (3): "At a tollway oasis in upstate New York, I bought a quarter pounder with a drink and they charged me $14.50. Can you believe they charged me $6.00 for a quarter pounder and $2.50 for a drink?" (And $6.00 for the sack and napkins?)

Anthropology: "The Blackfoot Indians are the most hated tribe by all the other Indians. In the late 1800s, all the other tribes tried to wipe out the Blackfoot Indians and they almost succeeded until Geronimo stopped them because he wanted the Blackfoot Indians to help them fight the white men." (Maybe if they bathed more often they would not be so disliked ... and not have such dark appendages. Okay, Okay, that was really bad but I have not had a lot of sleep the last week.)

The New Math (4): As we passed a sign marking the site of a fatal bus crash in 1989 that killed almost 40 children and parents on a church outing, this remark was made, "Can you believe the drunk driver who killed all those people is now out on the streets? He served 30 years in prison and then they let him go." (It seems like I also have served 30 years and today they let me go.)

Diseases: "The Ebola virus started in Africa and came from the monkeys there." (Which monkeys I asked.) "Those orangutans that live in Africa." (I know understand the DVD cover of the movie Animals are Beautiful People, which has a tiger, an elephant, and a lion sitting next to each other. It must have been designed by someone from Kentucky.)

The New Math (5): Whenever we pass an interesting car, James has owned at least one of them. For example, we passed a classic Chevy Chevelle and James had owned a '68, '69, '70, '72, '73, and '74 models; he did not like the '71 model. I began counting and today when I left his truck, he was up to 54 different cars he had owned -- not bad for someone who is 45 years old and whose truck was repossessed by the bank earlier this week. Another interesting area of math is his job history. This week, he has phoned a couple of companies and gave them his resume trying to get a job. Hopefully, these companies cannot add since he has been a truck driver 17 years, factory supervisor 11 years, worked on factory docks 3 years, worked in a foundry 3 years, and served in the Navy 5 years -- totalling 39 years providing he didn't work in any other jobs.

National Parks: "There is a giant hotel that has been built in Mammoth Caves. It is always full because it is the right temperature there, not too hot, not too cold." (You have to place a reservation months in advance to get the Batman Suite.)

The New Math (6): When in New York City, there was a six-part exit that was labeled 16A, 16B, 16C, 16D, 16E, and 16F. When approaching the exit, James told me, "It took me years to figure this out but do you know how these exits work? A is the first exit, B is the second exit, C is the third exit, D is the fourth exit, and so on." (Only going south to north, otherwise it is F, E, D, C, B, A -- east to west is B, D, F, A, C, E -- west to east is E, C, A, F, D, B -- southeast to northwest B, F, C, A, E, D ...)

Military Measuring Units: While telling of his vast Naval experience, James mentioned that his ship could travel 60 knots. I asked what a knot was and he said, "The knot is the same as a mile but for respect for the Navy and there ability to tie knots, they renamed miles per hour to knots for them." (Which explains the meaning behind Bowline Inches, Sheep Shank Feet, Butterfly Yards, Fisherman's Knot Furlongs, Square Knot Leagues, . . .)

and my personal favorite:

Safety and Hygiene: "Do you know that over 15,000 people die each year from toothpaste poisoning. This comes from not rinsing their mouths thoroughly. Toothpaste contains extremely strong acids and if you do not rinse thoroughly, it goes into your stomach and eats it out causing you to bleed to death internally." (Reminds one of the old jingle: 'I wonder where my tummy went when I brushed my teeth with Pepsodent.')

I should get a new trainer anytime. I would if third time is the charm or three strikes and you are out.

Currently, I have driven a semi in 18 different states --Alabama, Georgia, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kentucky, Louisiana, Mississippi, Nebraska, New York, North Carolina, Ohio, Pennsylvania, South Carolina, Tennessee, Texas, Virginia, and West Virginia.

Since last post, I have gone from Walcott, IA to Chicago, IL to Aurora, IL(200 miles)
Aurora, IL to Montgomery, NY to New York, NY, to Sayreville, NJ to Columbus, OH (1475 miles)
Columbus, OH to Scottsville, KY to Nashville, TN to Atlanta, GA (625 miles)

This totals 15,425 miles.
I've got to catch the shuttle to the Atlanta terminal and check in. We'll meet again later.

BJSS, Part 2

Okay kiddies, what time is it?
"It's BJSS Time."
And why is that?
"Because James Says So!"

I am in Iowa-80, the largest truck stop in the world, ready to challenge those preconceived notions you may have learned in school. These may have involved:

Economics -- "The Jews are very good at making money. That is why they decided to control all the business in New York and they exterminated the Mafia. The Mafia is gone from this country." (I knew everything would go to pot when Rudy Guilliani refused to run for re-election.)

Economics -- "You don't have to pay taxes if you have dual citizenship. Actor and singer Kris Kristofferson bought his own island just outside the legal limits of the United States. He doesn't pay taxes and he has his own group of bodyguards and his own navy to protect him. He pays no taxes to the United States." (James shouldn't pay any taxes either because he has dual citizenship -- the United States and Kentucky.)

Geography -- "There is a difference between hills and mountains. North Carolina and Kentucky have mountains, Colorado and Wyoming have hills. The difference is how steep the elevation is. In Kentucky, the grade is much steeper than in Colorado. Another clue is the word 'mountain.' They are called the Smokey Mountains and the Appalachian Mountains." (I concur with this, coming from the Rocky Hills region of the United States. However, that climb outside of Denver that went from 5200 feet to 11,500 feet did seem kind of steep to me but I might have been lying back at the time."

Geography -- "The time zone separating Central Time and Mountain Time runs right through the city of Cheyenne, WY." (This is a bummer if you live on the west side and work on the east side, you would always be an hour late to work. It's just about as bad if you live on the east side and work on the west side, you're always an hour late coming home.)

Entertainment -- "There is a Scottish castle in Kentucky that actor Lee Majors (the Six-Million Dollar Man) bought for his wife Farrah Fawcett and had moved there stone by stone. After they moved the castle, Farrah decided to divorce Lee and he was stuck with a castle in Kentucky that he gave to the state." (Lee should have had the foresight to move the castle to Hollywood where both he and Farrah lived. Of course, where would have he put it?)

History -- "America's greatest concentration of Irish people is in Kentucky. The state was founded by Irish people." (That explains Daniel O'Boone, Abraham O'Lincoln, and Colonel O'Saunders.)

Languages -- "Japanese is not that hard of a language to speak. I worked for a year in a foundry owned by Japanese people and I was able to speak the language after that." (yoku dekimashita, Jami-san.)

History -- "I was 10 miles away from the world trade center when the towers went down and took a picture of it on my telephone (Sure enough, there was a picture on his cell phone of 2 planes in the 2 towers and a little AP in the corner). A lot of people don't know that al-Kaida also planned to take out Buckingham Palace, the Eiffel Tower, and the Kremlin that day also, but England, France, and Russia had the sense to stop them. A lot of people also don't know that when the towers were attacked, all the military planes in Kentucky were scrambled and hidden because they have the most advanced flying force in the East. (Now I understand -- all these KFC's I have been seeing stand for Kentucky Flying Core.)

Economics -- "The United States doesn't own any of the gas companies anymore. Amoco and Texaco are owned by Canada, Sunoco is owned by Australia, and Chevron is owned by Mexico. (Since my Chevron gas card that I used to own was good at both Chevron and Texaco, this is proof that NAFTA is working.)

Transportation -- "All motorcycles over 350 cc have secret computer transmitters in them and when you pas the manufacturer's site, they automatically transmit all the speeds, mileage, and places you have gone it." (Obviously, Orwell's 1984 referred to a 1984 cc motorcycle and not a year.)

Communications -- "Cricket is the best telephone service in America and has better antennas than Verizon, Cingular, and T-Mobile put together." (Since his cell phone keeps dropping out every 5 to 10 minutes, I'm guessing that Cricket did not put the secret transmitters in the motorcycles.)

Sociology -- "Canada is one of the dirtiest countries in the world. They have 4 hardcore pornography television stations that are broadcast over the public airwaves. They are trying to corrupt and bring down the United States. (This explains the huge influx of people into Montana, North Dakota, Minnesota and the Upper Peninsula. Chuck, you better snatch up as much land as you can -- property values are going to soar.)

Technology -- "Yahoo will only allow you to have 1000 e-mails at a time on its website." (This must be true because James has 3 e-mail accounts and had 1300 e-mails yesterday on these 3 accounts. When I went to look to verify, they accidentally got deleted. 'It's okay,' he said, 'they were mostly junk mail.')

Communications -- Indiana is so large, it has ten area codes: 5 for the outer areas and 5 for Indianapolis alone. (I looked this up and James is right. The outer areas have the area codes 219, 260, 574, 765, and 812. Indianapolis has 317A, 317B, 317C, 317D, and 317E.)

A lot of people however do not realize that James has a dark Sith side to him also. One time he had a load for Sears Roebuck Company that was 20 minutes late. The store manager yelled at him (I have yet to see a shipping manager, let alone a store manager but I am a lowly acolyte) because of its tardiness, so James called up Mr. Sears, who owns the company, and he called the store and fired the manager. (James was lucky it wasn't Mr. Roebuck's turn to be in charge.)

A sad incident happened at the McDonalds last night where we were having dinner. It involved an Okie-type family that was moving west. They had a Penske truck with their car in tow behind. The tow had a flat tire and they asked us if we knew where the nearest motel was. James told them that the nearest was 30 miles down the road and they left. As we left the restaurant, I saw a motel behind the McDonalds, across the parking lot. I remarked that I wish I knew that it was there so we could direct the family to it. He told me that he told the family that it was there but they thought it was too rundown for them.

Another incident happens in which I felt like running over him with his own truck. In the morning, the GPS said it would take 9.5 hours to get from the truck stop in Kentucky to the drop point in Iowa. He waited for the last moment to go and then let me drive. He took a three-hour nap in Illinois and was furious when he found out that we had lost time and was going to be late for the drop. He swore up a storm at me and told Werner and the consignee that Iwas to blame for us being late. I told him that the problem was that he was going by the estimated time on his Tom Tom which is geared for driving the automobile speed limit, not the trucker speed limit which is 5 to 15 mph below the automobile speed limit. He told me I was stupid, that I didn't understand how a GPS works, and that I had been going slow and it was my fault we were late. He said that all GPS devices estimate the time based on 55 mph because that's what the national speed limit was when they were invented. I told him that my Tom Tom did not and he said if it didn't it was because someone tampered with it. I cannot wait to evaluate him after this nightmare is over.

Since 2 posts ago, I have gone from:
Indianapolis to Columbus, OH to Lancaster, OH (200 miles)
Lancaster to Hebron, KY to Charlotte, NC (625 miles)
Charlotte to Reidsville, NC to Wytheville, VA to Indianapolis, IN to West Branch, IA (1100 miles)
West Branch to Omaha, NE to Walcott, IA (550 miles)
This totals 13,125 miles.

Well, I have to get my laundry done but it is late and I might just go to bed. I doubt I will be finished before my birthday but I now have hopes to be done by Halloween.

Because James Says So

Christians around the world like to wear paraphenalia with WWJD to remind them where there moral compass should be. Mormons do the same thing with WWJSD. The last two days, my inner compass has found a new polar star. My trainer James is the fount of all knowledge. If you thought you knew a fact, he is happy to correct you in his loving drill sergeant manner and tell you what the real truth is. I now know a lot of things I did not know before BJSS -- Because James Says So.

You have heard snippets of James Stokes knowledge -- Daniel Boone is buried in Kentucky in the nation's second oldest cemetary. The oldest is in Salem, Pennsylvania (just twenty miles from William Penn Jeffs House of the Seven Mabels). (Anything in parentheses are my comments and did not come from the all-knowing one). The following blog comes from information I gleaned in just one day -- September 11th, 2009.

To mentally picture James, think of the juiced-up trucker in "Larger Than Life" crossed with the squirrel in "Hoodwinked." He never stops talking and will end his sentences with questions like "You know what I am saying?" and then stare at you until you answer him. He looks a lot like the character Renfro in "U. S. Marshalls".

As you guessed, James is a native Kentuckian and is very proud of his state. He has every right to be. Kentucky has the world's largest oil refinery "larger than Texas ever dreamed of" and the state capitol building in Frankfort is an exact duplicate of the one in Washington, D. C. down to "the ivory-covered dome". (This explained to me why there are no Republicans living in Washington, D. C. The elephants were hunted to extinction to supply the ivory for the dome. If the Republicans every gain control of the house or the senate, it is time for safari.)

James can fix anything automotive. This is hardly surprising because he rode his first motorcycle at the age of four. However, this cycle was only 18 inches tall and his mom would only let him drive at 20 mph or less for safety reasons. He began repairing automobiles at the age of 12; these were his own automobiles. He bought his first car when he was 9, his second at the age of 10.5, and his next 2 at the age of 12. When asked how he paid for these, he he replied that he had $50 taken out of each paycheck. (Obviously, Kentucky is very similar to Dickensian England and no child labor laws exist).

After an uneventful high school career, he joined the Navy. He is very proud of his military career and is justifibly so. He is very pro-McCain, anti-Obama, anti-Democrats, anti-illegal aliens, and anti-Russian Commies. While he was stationed in Germany (in the navy) he got the opportunity to fly a Mig Jet. This was during war games, the Americans flew F-16 and the Germans flew Migs. The Russians sold these Migs to the Germany because they were hard up for cash. At one point, he got the Mig to stop on its tail and then shoot straight up in the air. I found this out because I say what I thought was four F-16 in very tight formation, flying in North Carolina. I was mistaken. The jets were actually owned by a private company. The two in the front and the back of the diamond formation are flown by civilians who pay for the opportunity, they are the good guys. The company pilots fly the other two jets, they are the bad guys. The good guys try to force the bad guys into landing without crashing. (The two flown by businessmen with lots of dough were pretty impressive. It is a shame that most truck drivers cannot park in that tight a formation at night at a truck stop.)

James is very popular and has his own myspace page. I did not realize that the number of friends you can have maxes out at 120,000 people but now I know. Some other new facts I now know are:

• Only the southern third of Arizona does not observe daylight savings time. The northern two-thirds observe it.
• Indianapolis used to be in the Central Time Zone but Washington offered it a big chunk of money if it would switched to the Eastern Time Zone so it would not compete with Chicago. (It is comforting to no that Indianapolis is now competing with Detroit ... and Philadelphia ... and New York ... and Boston ... and Miami ... and Atlanta ... ... ...)
• In some states, it legal for pedestrians and bicyclists to walk/ride on the interstate if it is on the north side of the interstate. (I cannot tell you how hard it was to keep a straight face on this one.)

I am now having a problem not egging him on and seeing what new factoids he will share with me. For instance, in South Carolina, there was a huge patch of Kudzu, the parasitic vine that is taking over the Southern States. I marveled at it and said that the patch of growth was even more impressive than Kudzu and I asked James what it was. He replied that it was Fisted Ivy. Apparently, Kudzu was introduced by the Russians to ruin the plants in the Southern States and that Washington has released Fisted Ivy to overgrown and kill the Kudzu. Another example of egging him on happened while driving in Northern North Carolina. There was a spectacular mountain that pops up out of nowhere as you make a turn on the interstate. He told me this was called Dome Mountain. Using the atlas in my hands, I readily found it but was very confused because the atlas called it Pilot Mountain. He told me that it was called Dome Mountains for decades but two years ago, the North Carolina legislature changed the name to Pilot Mountain and the locals refused to call it that and that he was going to support the locals. (Who was I to argue, its has to be a fact BJSS).

I texted several people today letting them know that we were having clutch problems. At high speeds, the car kept slipping out of gear and would not stay in 7th gear at all. The reasons given for the slipping of gears was (and they honestly kept changing every few minutes) was an air leak in the transmission lines, the last tankful of fuel was bad, and my favorite -- the truck has a computer that keeps track of everything done to it and I downshifted incorrectly from 6th gear to 7th gear once, instead of 5th gear. I pointed out that I might have been upshifting and it would have been hard for the computer to tell the difference. He told me that the computer did indeed know the difference because I had been slowing down when I misshifted. I asked if this meant that when slowing down, I had to go all the way to 1st gear before I could start shifting up again. He had no answer for this but I ended up paying the price. For the rest of the day, I had to shift all the way to 1st gear when downshifting before I could shift up again. As it turned out, the clutch had been replaced four months ago and had worn down a little and needed to be adjusted. What a boring answer.

Well, it is 2:30 in the morning and I have to get up at 6:00. I am not allowed to nap because he never stops talking, so I better get to bed. I paid $5.00 for this 24-hour internet connection at a Flying J in Kentucky and my battery in very low and I have no AC power to charge it. I will say one thing for Matt, my previous trainer. He had the truck illegally wired and it was easy to recharge anything. If my head does not explode tomorrow, I will try to record more factoids and pass them on when I can.

The Last Three Weeks

I am in Indianapolis waiting to get a new trainer. After two weeks with my old trainer who was unsafe, abusive, disrepectful to everyone and everything, crude, rude, and just plain not nice -- and he had dandruff -- I decided to call my Student District Manager and ask for a new trainer. When she heard some of my experiences, she asked me to go to Indianapolis and write a report for the Safety Department. She thinks he is going to be fired. That will teach others not to be a jerk and have dandruff at the same time.

I think one of the reasons that the Lord allowed me to be with this guy was because his home area is Chicago. He had three days off at the same time as Kimberly's graduation from Navy boot camp. On Wednesday night, Momma picked me up and we stayed at her hotel room (BIG THANKS to Dieuwke and Valerie for getting Momma out to see Kimberly's graduation, which allowed me to see it too). On Thursday, we fought tremendous traffic and got to the auditorium 5 minutes before the cutoff time. When we arrived, they had us talk to the public relations department. Kimberly was chosen as the Honor Recruit for her division. Momma and I got to sit in a special section and wear name tags. As it turned out however, Kimberly had to do battle stations the day and night before and she had been up for 30 hours. They were afraid that she was going to faint while standing at attention for 1.5 hours during the ceremony, so they had here sit in the bleachers and the award was given to her backup. This was a bummer for Kim but she was the award winner and is declared so on the program and on the internet. As it turned out, two of the thirteen division honor recruits were from Utah.

Momma and I got to spend Thursday and Friday with Kim and Momma is going to Church with Kim before she returns today (Sunday). Thursday was shortened time wise but we drove around, spent time together, and got Kim back by 8:00 PM. Friday, the three of us did a session in the Chicago temple. Afterward, we went to the Grosse Pointe Lighthouse and visited Waukegan, Illinois, birthplace of Jack Benny. We also visited another place but I will refrain from elaborating on this until the end of September. Reasons why will be made plainer at a later day.

Saturday, Momma drove me to Indianapolis to report to Safety but because I forgot to account for the time change, it was closed when we arrived. I will report to Safety tomorrow and will hopefully go out with a new trainer on Monday or Tuesday.

A summary of my travels up to here.

Jonathan and I took a Greyhound Ride from Purgatory on August 15-16 from Ogden to Las Vegas to Pheonix, a total of 750 miles.

On August 20-21, Jonathan and I drove rental cars from Phoenix to Dallas, a total of 1075 miles. Here, Jonathan and I parted company.

On August 22-24, I went from Dallas, TX to Atlanta, GA -- 800 miles.

On August 27, I went from Atlanta, GA to London, KY -- 300 miles.

On August 29, I went from London, KY to Troy, OH to Rochelle/Sycamore, IL -- 625 miles

On August 31-September 1, I went from Rochelle, IL to New Paris, OH to Louisville, KY -- 525 miles.

On September 2, I went from Louisville, KY to Newbern, TN to Jackson, TN to Newbern, TN to Sycamore, IL -- 925 miles

On September 3-4, Momma and I drove around Chicago about 200 miles.

On September 5, Momma drove me to Indianapolis -- 200 miles.

This gives a total of 5400 miles for this post, with a grand total of 10,650 miles.

Brief Blog (Updated)

I realize that it has been a while since I updated everyone on happenings. I am going to have to be brief today because I have a lot to do before I catch the bus to Phoenix. Reader's Digest mode: Went from Stephanie's to Chuck's house. Caught his graduation. Spent a couple days in Seneca Falls area. Went to Church at Peter Whitmer Farm Went to Palmyra Temple with Penny and Stephanie (temple number 20). Also went to Sacred Grove. Helped Chuck load up. Took Stephanie, Emmuska, and Liberty back to Dixon, Missouri. I have the pictures to prove all of this and I'm not afraid to use them when I have time. Total miles for this 3525 miles (rounding to the nearest 25 miles). Total mileage since blog: 5250 miles. These by the way are on the road miles.

Now why am I going to Phoenix today? Last Monday, I started with the May Trucking Company. As a condition of employment, they required a driving test. I have not driven in a month, so I was nervous; turns out I did not need to be. Jonathan failed the test (darn curbs and turn signals -- the bane of the truck driver). May Company refused to hire him and were very rude about it. I called Werner Trucking out of Phoenix while I was in May's parking lot. They were happy to hire Jonathan and I. We start training August 17th. Mom said she thought that we were supposed to work for Werner all along but it would have been nice if she had told us this. They requested that we take the Hazmat test, have background checks and get fingerprinted (that's a verb?). This is what I was doing from Monday night to Thursday morning. It should have been finished Wednesday morning but I spent 2.5 hours at the Drivers License Division waiting to take a test and get my temporary license. That is sad news -- my new CDL license came last Saturday in the mail and I had to surrender it on Tuesday and pay another fee. At least I had it for 3.5 days. (I did not like the picture on it anyway).

We have two days of orientation and then we have 300 hours of training (that's 300 hours behind the wheel). Hopefully, I will be finished late September, early October and that I will finish before Jonathan. That way I will have the truck issued to me and not to him. When I get a truck, I can take my laptop and then I will be able to blog again and add pictures. Mom says that this is like my boot camp but I am sure I will have it easier than Kimberly is having it. Please remember her in your prayers.

Lots to do and pack and get ready. I will read your posts in six weeks and add pictures (cross my heart and hope to die -- oops, we did that already almost 3 years ago), I promise. I will also keep everyone updated on destinations and mileage.

Miles and Miles and Miles

The last four days, I have been on the road and have not had any accessibility to the internet. I am typing this at the Seneca Falls Public Library which has a slow connection. I will not be able to add pictures (since my camera is at Chuck and Maren's house) but will do so at the first opportunity. (I now have some to add.)

Tuesday morning, Penny, Chuck and I arose early and did a session in the Denver Temple. All three of us felt that instead of traveling straight to Stephanie's house, we should go to the Winter Quarters Temple in Omaha. We got in the car and drove straight there, taking minimal gasoline stops. We went quite fast to arrive at our destination and at one point, I told Chuck that he did not have a licence to fly but he opened his wallet and showed me that he did. After that I did not say anything about the speed he traveled. We arrived at the Winter Quarters temple 10 minutes before the last session started. The temple is beautiful and is next to the pioneer graveyard. It has stained-glass windows with many pioneer scenes. These two temples made numbers 16 and 17 of our goal of 25 temples this year. (Chuck took the picture of the Nebraska State sign from the moving van. He can fly like the dickens but his photography skills are questionable.)

We left Omaha immediately after the session and decided to drive to Nauvoo and then St. Louis and finish the temple circuit before we arrived at Stephanie and Mycal's house. We finally had to stop at Des Moines for some much needed sleep. We arrived fairly promptly Wednesday morning and after gassing up, we drove straight to Nauvoo, which we hit at lunch time. We did not have time to tour the city (which was holding the Nauvoo Pageant) but went straight to the temple, where we did a session. Words cannot how beautiful the temple was inside, down to the cherry wood lockers in the changing rooms. Each room had a beautiful, vibrant mural and Penny, Chuck and I had a very, very positive experience there.


After Nauvoo, the three of us ran down to St. Louis and took in the penultimate session of the evening there. It was a nice temple but it did not strike me quite like Nauvoo did. We drove to Stephanie's house in Dixon, Missouri in the dark and unloaded the van which contained several things she left in Utah. Stephanie and Mycal have bought a house, now that they have determined that they will be in Missouri for 3 plus years. We spent the night at the Browns house (the furniture has not arrived yet, so we stress tested their floor) and in the morning, we had breakfast at Shoney's and hit the road again. Sadly, I will have to finish this interesting tale with the next post. Travel for this post is 1200 miles, totaling 1725 miles.

EVERY JOURNEY BEGINS WITH A FIRST STEP

This officially kicks off my attempts to be a blogger. Even though I do not start trucking for two more weeks (August 10th), Penny and I are driving back to New York to see Chuck graduation from New York Chiropractic College. Chuck is traveling with us and we plan to grab Stephanie, Emmuska, and Liberty along the way as well as visit 6 temples. We left Ogden this morning and went to Vernal where we did a session in the Vernal Temple, then we drove from Vernal to I-70 in Colorado and went to Denver where we are staying the night.













I-70 is gorgeous and at one point, we went through a tunnel that went straight through the mountain. What made this tunnel the more interesting is that its elevation is 11,157 feet. That is over two miles above sea level. We finally got to Denver just missing a torrential downpour but catching a spectacular rainbow in the sunset. It actually looked more like a sundog.

Staying the night at Motel 6, Chuck logged on and found that he got an "A" in his last class. He has officially graduated and is now Dr. Stohel. Tomorrow, we plan to get to Missouri and stay at Stephanie, where I will update "Where Am I?"

Travel for this post is 575 miles, totalling 575 miles.